First, is USP 7,312,773 for the “Illuminated Wearable Ornament,” which includes “a fastener …for attachment to a human,” and per Claim 6 said “fastener is a safety pin.” Something old, something new. Next, wrap you gift idea in the “Gag Bag” of inventor Herr Schmidt-Troschke, claimed as a “packaging bag, in particular of paper, plastic or a composite of these materials, having a closable top and a sound source which produces a single or a sequence of tones, intelligible sounds or noises when the top is opened..”, as recited in USP 7,312,717. For the strumming minstrel in the family, stuff a stocking with “guitar pick stickers for use in adhering to guitar picks so that the guitar picks are adapted to be removably carried against a glossy surface of a guitar” as claimed by inventor Oskorep in USP 7,312,388. Personal care and self-improvement items are ever-popular as gifts, so serve that pressing need to clean among “the most neglected areas of the body, in terms of personal hygiene, .. the surfaces between the toes of a person’s feet,” using any embodiment of the “device for inter-toe massage or cleaning” claimed in USP 7,310,850 issued to inventor Ge. If a career change to professional bass fishing ever was a New Year resolution, then gift inventor Merline’s fishing lure with propellors “be remotely controlled by the angler by a radio control transmitter on the fishing rod or proximate thereto,” as claimed in USP 7,310,905. But wait, there’s more – no year-end holiday grab bag would be complete without the latest “Abdominal exercise machine” particularly any “exercise machine that reduces undue stress but also exercises all” six of your six-pack, as disclosed in USP 7,311,645 assigned to AB-Stractor LLC